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Category: Washington, DC & social justice

Humility and more of what Jordan taught in our friendship

Published on January 22, 2018January 22, 2018 by Jill Morgan FosterLeave a comment

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Jordan walked in the church where I worked at the time, two days after Donald Trump was elected president. Welcoming him back to Foundry UMC seemed to ease my inner emotional volcano which kept spitting out heat & denial. We swapped hellos; then reality of the election came up.

In a kind, calming voice Jordan said:
“Well if you look at modern electorate history, most presidential elections swing toward the opposite party of the exiting administration. It’s an historical pattern playing out.”
His perspective delivered more than timely insight; but it took me a second to realize what it was.
As we talked more, it dawned on me I was sharing this conversation with a person who inspired trust. For over a year Jordan would visit the church to access our comminity clothing closet. We would talk pretty regularly but more on a surface level. This deeper exchange now was comforting, and harmonized well with my cravings for solace. It was the substance of friendship.
Then a few weeks went by, bringing on a piercing November chill. My husband and I were running to dinner at a local cafe. As we opened the cafe’s front door, a familiar voice said: “Hey Jill, how are you?”
It was Jordan rising up from his bedroll on the sidewalk. We hugged and talked. He and my husband shook hands introducing eachother. We offered respective ‘good nights’ as Jordan lay down to rest with traffic whipping by on Connecticut Avenue.
Our conversation immediately came back to mind from a few weeks prior. Memories of comfort from that post-election talk now stood in stark opposition to the very different levels of comfort existing in our respective lives. The moment evoked a ton of humility for how God blesses us with friendship — the unforeseen and sometimes discordant layers of which reveal a road map for how friends can learn from and care for eachother.
Photo by Greg Simenoff “Friendship” licensed under Creative Commons
Categories Community, God and spiritual discoveries, vulnerable neighbors, Washington, DC & social justice•Tags 2016 Election, foundryumc, Friendship, Homelessness, Washington DC

Political choices and putting anger to better use

Published on December 23, 2017December 23, 2017 by Jill Morgan FosterLeave a comment
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Whew, the recent Alabama’s special election underscored two things:

First, anger in response to other people’s political choices can get fiery. I let this anger take the proverbial driver’s seat, often, in my own discernment as a voter.

Example of what prompted rage recently in context of the Alabama election:
A credible pattern of accusation — from a range of women — gave voice to Roy Moore’s history of sexual misconduct and predatory behavior. Who wants to see this immoral code empowered by voter support let alone our President’s support and thus gain leadership at the senatorial level?
I did not, and can’t stand even how close this whole election between Moore and Jones was. This red-rage anger toward other voters who still ended up casting votes for Roy Moore is where hopes for my own thought process as a voter get stuck in a judgmental, unproductive, near sanctimonious whirlwind.
Next, all that angriness is a huge spiritual drain!
So how can the anger be put to better direction and use when exercising my capacity as a voter?
Because spiritually and intellectually there has to be a better way to utilize this angry emotion — as less of an impediment to clear thinking, and more of an ignition for it.
This leads to a self-reflecting rabbit hole and overall curiosity for how we humans vote for the political parties and candidates that we do.
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Online resources continue to stimulate reflection, in particular:
  • voter psychology regarding taller candidates, or those with deeper voices;
  • a checklist for assessing political candidates on (and beyond) current issues i.e. leadership experience, linguistic expression, and emotional appeal; plus
  • impact of tradition on voter choices.

A wealth of data and insight exist at the tip of any online search or political science library (“duh” as my husband would say). What keeps dominating thought in light of the Moore vs Jones  hurricane-of-an-election is the realization my decision-making process as a voter — lacks process altogether. I suspect this is a core reason why my emotional drive supplants most attempts toward consistent, logical reflection.

Also the inner ‘voter story’ I kept telling myself is: There’s a correct and incorrect choice to make at every election.

I must be on the correct side, my inner almost nagging voter voice keeps saying. -Got to be on the correct moral stance especially with every vote. How is that even possible to ascertain? What’s the barometer for just moral discernment no matter what one’s political affiliation?

Back to Alabama voters who voted for Moore:

I am not convinced that all those Alabama voters who rooted for Roy Moore believe it is morally acceptable for men to exploit underage girls sexually (many credible accusations toward Moore have been made on that front as noted above). I don’t buy that said conservative voters would be that morally corrosive or morally faint.

And after dissecting the pensive mess in Alabama’s special election, I could not get beyond the blatant moral failing of Moore. In light of his uniquely abhorrent & demeaning track record of decisions, that is reason enough to reject him as a candidate. But as a decision making process, and analytical resource for assessing political platforms overall, my moral judging is not a very thorough barometer to evaluate future candidates. I want more depth from my discernment, and conscious consistency in what I evaluate.

So why would any such voter offer their support to such a candidate (Moore) with such a track record?

A working theory:  a self-coaching process for political choices (I crave this!)

It’s really tough to analyze one’s voting decisions with objective mental distance.

In numerous known or less conscious ways, it is hard for all voting humans to marry objective analysis with our respective emotional fire.

I believe this is a coaching issue and opportunity for us.

In sports coaching as example:

A coach exists to study and observe a team’s decisions. The coach works with some kind of checklist or litmus test or paradigm of expertise to size-up the effectiveness of each play sequence. Gauging the effectiveness of each play is not left up to the judgement of the players themselves.

Another example in the context of a speaker coach:

Say a speaker retains a storytelling or presentation coach to prepare for a big keynote. In this dynamic, the speaker becomes the would-be athlete and the coach assumes position of the core observer of the speaker’s would-be plays, using again a checklist or litmus test method to assess their selected content, delivery, expression of presence etc.

This coaching dynamic creates useful distance between the athletes’s emotional passion for the playing field and objective assessment of their decisions in the field.

Could a coaching-type mechanism (like a non-human coach) be created for ascertaining respective political candidates or platforms?

It has become clear how much I crave a voting template!

Not necessarily a perfect one or all inclusive one. But a voter coaching template consistently shifts attention on emotional flames, and instead allocates focus on core concerns.

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Primary goals for this coaching template would be to:

  • Cultivate personal clarity & consciousness for voting decisions – consistently – and beyond emotional intensity that I might assign to a political contest;
  • Embody the intent to transform social justice for my fellow citizens, even if it involves harsh criticism of my hoped-for candidate or party.

These two factors make it clear that being a one-issue voter (which I have been on occasion) is not going to achieve above, at least for myself.

Ok …where to start in shaping a core template of questions to move through weighty anger, and toward more objectivity and well-rounded aims for justice?

Here’s a start:

  1. MORAL PATTERNS — What commentary or reports exist which speak to a candidate’s moral treatment of women, men, children, and social diversity overall? Are these commentaries credible and ample (vs rumor-based or infrequently published)?
  2. SOCIAL JUSTICE vs HARM — Does this published material point toward habitual harm or habitual justice toward certain groups morally and within humane hierarchy of need?
  3. BALANCED SCRUTINY (or lack thereof) — Despite any emotional disappointment or shock brewing in your inner voter, does your discovered research include moral evaluation of all candidates and parties in the given election?
  4. OPPOSITION — What are (3) accomplishments in candidates which you consider the ‘opposing candidate(s)’ that could point toward social benefit of marginalized people?

Photo attribution:

  • Top left – “Anger” by Guillaume Maciel licensed under Creative Commons
  • Lower right – “We Won’t Tolerate Rhetoric Instead of Recovery” – by outtacontext licensed under Creative Commons
  • Lower left – “Beware of Intake” – by ileana gonzales licensed under Creative Commons.
Categories Community, Courage, Ego, Washington, DC & social justice•Tags Alabama, Anger, Conservative, Politics, Roy Moore, social justice, Template, Vote

Hospitality teachings from two neighbors

Published on November 3, 2017April 13, 2018 by Jill Morgan FosterLeave a comment

Conversations with two different neighbors unfolded within a few days of each other. They keep floating in my head for further reflection. During a front hospitality shift at church (my workplace too back then), I met both of these guests as their initial point of welcome to the church’s campus.

The first encounter was with a younger gentleman in his twenties. He was spirited and articulated his words with a little punch….not with a disrespectful tone at all, but with an audible beat of precision.

He proceeded to offer his thanks for the church helping him replace his birth certificate a while ago, which was neat to hear! It was motivating to meet him and receive his sentiment on behalf of the team.

His speech pattern then began to accelerate.

He said: “They erased my memory because they inject serum in my eyeballs each night up in Baltimore.”

I wasn’t sure what to say beyond some quiet eye contact.

His speaking rate continued to accelerate then slow back down, then speed back up as he described his memory loss and eye ball injections. It was clear he deserved compassion, and sincere regard. The guest repeated expressions of appreciation for the church’s volunteer team again that had helped him secure his birth certificate. He mentally bounced in between the contexts of injections, memory loss, & gratefulness.

Bewilderment
He seemed to want his gratefulness for the church community to be honored in a certain way but I wasn’t sure what to do. It was a sense in my gut that I was trying to interpret. Then mental fatigue really kicked in. I just wanted the exchange to end but wanted to offer some sort of resourcefulness. I asked if he’d like a mini directory about the church and nearby health providers too; I offered my own thanks to him for visiting while directing him to the door.

I’m still analyzing this guest engagement from a hospitality perspective. Sometimes providing attentiveness while ignoring some inner bewilderment is apart of extending hospitality.

I’m grateful to him for that learning. Something else about the exchange though made an impact that I did not realize until later.

The next week

A local neighbor arrived at the church asking for a clean pair of jeans. He was in his 40s, had lived on the street a while, conversational (and I recall very warm too). As he shared about his clothing needs, the inner bewilderment from the recent guest last week cropped up. That instantly provoked internal fatigue that in that moment with this new guest, I just didn’t want to feel again.

So I interrupted the guest in mid-sentence with the hope to end the conversation.

I instantly felt guilt & regret sprout up inside. It was an impatient move to interrupt (and inhospitable to say the least). The man went silent.

He then replied with beautiful self-control & dignity: “Ma’am I’m poor and am preparing for the colder season. I don’t mean to take up unnecessary time. But when you’re poor you need to see asking for help as an asset. That’s what I’m trying to do.”

I felt like such an ass.

I apologized, thanking him for his forgiving patience and clarity of mind. After we found some suitable clothes that fit, we had a strong, brief discussion about his entry to living on the street in multiple states. His wisdom opened my mind on many levels. For starters – he brought to a more conscious level how being homeless does not mean your self-knowledge or capacity for wisdom is less than other neighbors who are perceived as ‘more integrated or relevant in society.’

Conversation with him revealed how I’d held this social bias yet was not conscious of it.

Our exchange underscored how delivering hospitality does not simply demand empathetic communications but also unconditional patience even when inner resources may be stretched.

Afterthought

It occurred to me later that me being a wee bit mindful of self-care would be goooooooood & prudent.

These encounters bring to mind now a devotional excerpt from Sarah Young’s enriching book Jesus Calling.

She wrote from her October 31 entry:

Learn to listen to (God) even while you are listening to other people. As they open their souls to your scrutiny, you are on holy ground.

Photo:  husband patiently “listening” to the kitten.

Categories Community, Hospitality, vulnerable neighbors, Washington, DC & social justice•Tags Community, featured, Hospitality, Neighbors, Poor, social justice

Emotional risk at the bakery

Published on May 18, 2016December 9, 2017 by Jill Morgan FosterLeave a comment

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The local baker said during our transaction: “It looks like your church is an interesting place.”

We were hashing out specifics for a huge cake order honoring Pentecost; I’m newer to the Methodist (and Christian) church world and just learned myself that Pentecost is the actual birth of the Christian church. I’m still getting clearer on the details of the biblical celebration but it’s a grand thing which many of faith party-hearty for every year; …lots of history still to learn and ponder on my end!

So then the baker and I finessed what the orange and red flames could look like in fiery cream cheese icing.

“Our church IS interesting, you’re welcome to Sunday services anytime,” I said back.

The baker replied:

“Nah you all wouldn’t want me. I’m gay and my old church already kicked me out.”

A ton of thoughts zipped through my head right then: what’s a kind and honest way to respond? Will my words come across as too sappy or too familiar or forced or ugh…

After a few seconds, I just wanted to at least convey a sense of acceptance in our conversation. He shared such vulnerability already in what his former church did. Finally I got over myself and said he was more than welcome to participate anytime.

“Really?” he said in surprise. “Is my partner welcome too?!”

Then we talked about LGBTQI advocacy and marriage briefly and how it’s all supported in my neighborhood (and certainly at my church community).

Later after this talk of cake and justice — what struck my memory was how certain he seemed that his exclusion from a religious place was eminent. It was as if his emotional labor had already been invested, confronted, toiled over and rejected, with no expectation for fruits of that labor to grow a different or more communal type of hope. He inherently assumed he wouldn’t be welcome…that his desire to be apart of a formalized community of folks was not a relevant or acceptable or palatable desire for others to validate given who he was as a human.

There’s so much about formal religion for my heart and mind to grapple with, so many questions. But while still on this journey of learning, that first Pentecost celebration thousands of years ago comes to mind, vibrant and hopeful and in motion well before various biblical  interpretations were ever published. At that moment was the spirit of Jesus nailing lists to trees that would soon become church doors declaring: “Hey forgiveness and love are all for YOU & US but not for them or those other types…”

Or were the newest followers of that freshly born faith quivering with loving compassion for everybody….in what my pastor calls wonderful, radical hospitality?

Categories Compassion, vulnerable neighbors, Washington, DC & social justice•Tags All welcome, church, Gay, Homosexuality, Hospitality, LGBTQI, love, Neighbors, Pentecost

Chaos helps a stranger

Published on May 2, 2016May 8, 2016 by Jill Morgan Foster1 Comment

 

It was a strange day today at church where I work. Many intense events all happened at once. First a man with questionable sanity entered the chapel & began to scream. He was unresponsive so I called the police. While he continued to scream, another gentleman came in from the street asking for a belt from the church’s community clothing closet. This man looked unwell and thin, I’d say 100 lbs tops, and his pants were being held up by his hands.

The screaming guest meanwhile kept up his volume and the police had yet to arrive. Then other people entered the church asking for directions to the White House and another woman sought some food. My nerves were fluttering up a storm; a pastor came out to help ease the crowd.

Then the police arrived right as the precious frail man needing a belt got tears in his eyes because I couldn’t find a damn belt to fit him. My frustration was at a fever pitch, let alone my feelings of inadequacy to help this guy.

All of a sudden the screaming man, now surrounded by police officers, calmed down and walked over to us with what looked like vivid sense of purpose. He took off his belt and handed it to the other man in need. The belt fit well and I thanked God for bringing such sanity and kindness to the chaotic moment.

My brain is still swirling from everything. It was a humbling moment to see up close how hope & resourcefulness can extend from one stranger to another.

Even though the screaming man seemed to slip in and out of lucidity, in that moment something clicked, some inside awareness in himself which recognized the basic human need in a stranger.

Categories Community, vulnerable neighbors, Washington, DC & social justice•Tags church, Church work, Community, foundryumc, kindness

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"Architecture, of all the arts, is the one which acts the most slowly, but the most surely, on the soul." ~ Ernest Dimnet, priest

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