Ego trips & realness

image
I can’t get enough of this recent line of questioning by Bishop Palmer at Portland’s General Conference of the United Methodist Church:

“Do our relationships lack the kind of depth that engenders real growth, change and transformation? Is it too hard for us to get real with one another because we lack the spiritual and emotional infrastructure to thrive in the midst of realness?”

His words kept ricocheting in that part of the brain that goes “hmmm, hmmmm” over and over when mentally chewing on a thought. The context of his remarks were intended for world leaders and voting delegates of the Methodist faith. But when he first posed these questions in his address, my head went straight to the precious & active relationships in my own life.

A good chunk of valuable relationships could be more real, and made so I think with my increased inner stamina. There have been a ton of times including in my marriage where a chance to be honest would be skimmed over or rebelled against completely.

…Not sure why except it seems to have something to do with all the raw, vulnerable feelings that owning the truth churns up.

My husband sometimes will justly say “Hey you’re grumpy.” And then I get my back up and defensive at his truth telling. Why the heck why? Is it a strange hidden ego trip floating around inside….that “lacks spiritual & emotional infrastructure” to hear truths on how I affect him?

If so, that looks like some juicy rebellion against self-acceptance right there….that ignoble affliction called ‘holier-than-thou’ ….which is a little sad, but fixable (fingers crossed).

Sometimes the truth in realness gashes self perception I guess! But when healing sets, what felt like a stinging void is now a hopeful chamber inside, a carved seat of cherubic protection that’s more willing to let others in.

 

 

One thought on “Ego trips & realness

  1. I believe in truth and in getting raw with each other in relationships. But I also think if we can be kind without costing authenticity we should, particularly with the people we love.

    Having that belief, I used to assume that others do as well. I recall how disappointed I was when I realized that was not so.

    It’s hard to deal with because I try not to hurt people intentionally even when I’m angry. So it hurts me deeply when especially family does. In the moment I still have the belief that if they love me, why would they hurt me?

    Reading your post is a reminder that people sometimes show their love via truth rather than gentleness.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s